In Love.

After the last post, I thought I was done with eharmony. Frankly I was glad my time was over, it was valuable, I learned a lot. Phew. I was perfectly content to be single the rest of my life, I didn't really believe there was anyone out there that I could love that would love me with the same intensity.
Then came AS.
I didn't even see it coming, he happened to reach out in communication with me on a weekend where eharmony had so graciously given me a free weekend(great marketing on their part I might add). I didn't plan it, I didn't even think it would happen, and here we are many months later and I still want to pinch myself. To top it all off we live on different sides of the world.
He's brilliant, funny, kind, thoughtful, a man of God, a man of his word, he's honest and sincere. After all this I believe he could be a troll and I would think him handsome, but he's got beautiful deep kind chocolate eyes, a smile that makes me melt, a mess of unruly hair that I think is positively adorable.
The best of it is, he thinks I am beautiful, and by him thinking that I am becoming that. I am not talking about changing who I am, I am talking about bringing to surface what was already there, my posture is different, my countenance, I feel beautiful because he thinks I am. I feel lovable, because I am loved.
Its strange how that works, the people that mean the most to us, and how they feel about us affects how we feel about ourselves. Although I can't give the credit to AS, the very fact that he met me, loves me, and continues to love me, is by the grace of God. If I had not first understood my position in Christ's love, the beautiful creation he has made me and the grace he has given to redeem me, I wouldn't be in a place to recognize or accept AS's thoughts about me.
Sometimes things with AS seem like a whirlwind, I have never met anyone quite like him before, and his life overflows with the grace of God. Sometimes I feel like this is crazy and I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, there is no way I deserve anything this good--and I don't. But I keep coming back to Psalm 84:11 For the LORD God is our light and protector. He gives us grace and glory. No good thing will the LORD withhold from those who do what is right.(NLT) Not only is he looking out and protecting me but its for my good and his glory as I follow him in obedience.
Whatever my future with AS(Mrs. AS!!!!)I can be secure in knowing that I am beloved and beautiful to my God first. He has brought AS into my life for a process of sanctification, and to build my faith in Him. I don't know how the story is going to end, but I can be sure of this, God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine, and he already has.