voting off

So today I am cruising down the road after work, doing one of my favorite pastimes—singing along with the radio. Its springtime so the windows are down, and I am enjoying my ritual unwinding time. Just me and the music. I look up to see if the light has changed and some pedestrians thought that I should not be singing in my car at that volume and decided to tell me so with their gestures. Ha ha, all in good fun—whatever.
Who are they to think they are simon cowell and can judge whoever they want. I am not attempting to go on national television and be critiqued by America. Yet people feel free to cast judgement on me for doing something I love. Which really has nothing to do with them anyway.
The other night I watched the show American inventor, and this guy had a therapy doll, that he thought was a good idea. Now the editing made it appear as if he was ridiculous. And maybe he was but what right have I to say such a thing. If I think its ridiculous well I don’t have to buy it, but what helped him may not help me but it might help someone else. See I use pets as therapy and really its not that different. Maybe hes allergic to pets and this helps him get through his day.
But we seem to have this overwhelming urge to tell people they are idiots or at least they look like them. The whole idea of being creative and thinking in a different way is so prized in success yet is squashed and misunderstood in every other avenue. Creative people don’t always have the best ideas, talented people don’t always perform their best. And people singing to the radio in their car are just people singing to the radio in their car.
I don’t understand why those people had to gesture anything, I was doing something I loved, and I don’t really care what I sounded like. So what if I was flat on that last note, I don’t see you singing, I just see you crossing in front of my car making rude gestures at me. Now I am not trying to stifle anybody’s creative thinking, but it comes to my attention that I am in a car and they are a pedestrian walking in front of my car, I think if you are going to be judging people you should be prepared for that. Pedestrian verses car the pedestrian doesn’t usually win. Not that I would ever run over anyone, but they don’t have to know that.I wonder what makes people do things like that, through out my life I can remember instances where I was on the judging side of the story. My mom used to sing to the radio at department stores and grocery stores, I thought this was terribly embarrassing as do most kids with anything involving their parents. But I also remember times when I saw someone jamming in their car or doing something totally crazy and my thoughts were—man I wish that I could do that, or More power to ya. It takes guts to do stuff that isn’t accepted as the norm, and I have a lot of respect for people that are willing to put themselves out on the line for the world to “vote “ them on or off. I have great respect also for people that care a lot about people, but little about what people think about them,maybe they are singing in the car at the top of their lungs or maybe they are talking to themselves, or maybe they are just enjoying life.
I mean c’mon y’all, whats the big deal. When did we all become to grown up to enjoy life, when did we get so stuffy that we had to try to put on a presentable front to everyone. I just feel like I am getting sucked into this hole where I have to conform to normal which includes mostly not venturing too far outside the norm of thought/culture/society/--dare I say religion. And in turn for being like everyone else I get to “vote off” the “weirdos” that are still holding on.
Its no wonder that much of the world views Americans like they do. We act like we know it all, but when it comes down to it, turns out we don’t know anything. Any brains or bright ideas that we had we firmly squashed because well—they just weren’t normal.
Im not saying we should be so nice that we disregard the truth. But if we continue this bullying attitude, thinking we have the right and the ability to judge and critique someone else, we are crushing the creative drive that has helped this country become what it is today. What if we could say to that guy with the therapy doll, “you know I don’t think this idea is widely marketable, I am glad that it helped you out, its very unique, keep the ideas coming”
On a similar note, lets have a show called Americas next president. Make it like survivor, put all those running on an island together and whoever outlasts, outplays, and outsmarts the others and becomes the survivor gets to be the next president. Or maybe we should make it like American Idol where you can vote for who your favorite is. Would certainly bring an interesting perspective to the political debates. Forget all this democrat/republican business—everyman for himself. We will probably find out more of what they are made of than we can during election campaigns anyway.

whats my motivation

There have been a lot of changes of late, seems like the story of my life these days. I have to report though that things are going very well. The job is going well I finish up the first major part of my training on Monday. I am moved in to my new place, although I did try to burn it down by leaving some potatoes in the oven and then going over to a friend’s house, by the time I remembered them the sirens were already on their way. I came to 5 fire trucks and a busted in door. I guess that will help my memory in case I ever want to forget about something I am cooking. It’s nice to have weekends off. This weekend I had the opportunity to take some long awaited pictures and to go visit with some people, I managed to do my share of yard work as well, and I guess it all evens out since I eat at their house half the time anyway. I sold out to the man and actually got a cell phone. But I have made a conscious effort to not talk on it when I am in the company of real people. I don't accept calls during supper or when I am busy doing something else, it's a phone not a digital leash (thanks to John for the digital leash comment).
I have been thinking about motivation and why we do what we do. What are my motives for doing anything? Of course the Christian cop-out answer is to say “to glorify God.” Ultimately that is my goal but what does that mean? I am playing out a variety of scenarios in my head and I can’t decide if my motive is one way or another. Is it good to try and please someone else? Some would say no, you should only live to please Christ, but in practical terms how does that all play out. Say for example I want to do something nice for someone. So here is the thought that runs through my head:
Ok so I am going to write a card and buy flowers to encourage--lets call them person A--am I doing this to encourage them because I truly care about them, or am I doing this because it makes me feel good when I do nice things for other people, or am I looking for validation from another person that I am a good person. So what if my motive is a little of all 3 or what if its just one, does that mean I should not do a nice thing for someone? Meanwhile I have just missed my exit off the interstate because I was deep in this self discussion, and now I am lost and my head hurts. I would like to say that my motive is always for the good of other people, but honestly its not, so does that mean I should just stop doing nice things to people until I can get my motives straight? Meanwhile my brain is in grid lock because it’s overwhelmed when I think of everything I do in this kind of context. So I end up doing whatever the default is because I just can’t handle the information overload, and then I think ok, default that’s another option another motive, is that motive called laziness. And if God is sovereign, and I believe he is, doesn't he use my good motives and my bad motives to accomplish his purpose. And I'm not meaning a license to sin, remember these are good noble things that I want to do and I want my motives to be right. I can't say to God well I will just do whatever I want and then you can use that, that's the wrong line of thinking. God commands us to do certain things and not to do other things and those are important. I just keep seeing this ugly heart, and I am being so brutally honest with myself and it makes me mad, that I think this way. And remember motives are something nobody else can see, this is all within my head and my heart and I am mad not because I am going to get caught, or because someone might think less of me, I'm mad because I know what's right and I can't seem to stick to that line of thinking. So here I am confronted with nothing but my own thoughts and I realize that in spite of it all God still loves me and that's powerful information. This week on the way to work I have been listening to the CD of our Easter cantata for this year. There is a monologue testimony on there that I listen to everyday and when it gets to one part I rewind it and listen to it several times. It says "Everyday God reaches down and resurrects me from the grip of death... and everyday he exerts that same power he used to resurrect Christ from the grip of death." I have to listen to it a few times, because sometimes it just doesn't seem that it can be real. That's the power he is using for my sanctification. Every time I really and truly focus on this fact, I am left in speechless awe at my amazing God.