Sorrow poured over my heart like a summer rain.
Each drop leaving a mark on the parched soil.
The smell of dust arising in the air
reminding me from that which I came,
knowing that this must take place.
Knowing that the storm is fleeting but still cools the summer heat.
That which i must endure the falling and dying of autumn, the sleepy sweet solitude of winter,
'fore I will see the life that flows from the rain.

I haven't had much to say

Sometimes I get into the habit of overthinking. Many of my blogs are just that. But thinking is something I do best, so why not! But I realize sometimes things are as they are. I guess that's how its been lately. Everyday is an adventure, but not every adventure needs to be written about. The funniest thing this week is the coffee named komodo dragon, and people asking for one. I'd like my very own komodo dragon, in fact I had one today. It was tasty. Not at all like chicken. I'm feeling less stuck, but I know the feeling will arise again. I guess sometimes we all need to vent. I had family in for a visit and I looked at old pictures, made me remember good times and laugh and that's always a nice ending to a story, although its hardly the ending its more like the middle. I guess we will just have to wait and see what's in store for tomorrow.

He was like a strong drink..

With the ability to take the sense out of rational people, the deep burn that is numbing and sweet. With the charm of delusion that's enchanting and borderline nauseating. The pseudo warmth,the rush of daring, before the end--wretching on the bathroom floor. He is the antidote to his own poison. You love him , you loathe him, you are in awe and fear, because you know you need him.
to say the least--intoxicating...

restless

I have been real restless lately. I think its the spring air and my overactive imagination. Its making me physically sick. I've been sick for two weeks sick to my stomach and now the headaches have begun. I know its stress, but I'm not certain over what exactly, the nausea and lack of appetite could be from stress or it could be from the fact that summer is coming and I am in no shape for swimsuit weather. Could be that I am sick of being here. 6 months in one place--its killing me. My job is the same--I guess. This week I feel a little used, like I am selling myself for money. If people like me they will buy coffee. After all that's what its all about, I feel used. Apartment hunting is so hard, so many factors, so many decisions and I am not a decision maker, I never claimed to be. And restless, last night I almost made it to the ocean, I didn't have enough gas, so I went to the airport to think--late at night of course. I woulda stayed at the observation deck longer but there were creepy people there. Maybe I am a creepy person. Beginning to think so. I cant decide if I am too old to run away or to young not to. Maybe I should flip a coin, makes me think of the song "heads Carolina, tails California" I think I should get a coin with tails on both sides. I am feeling the need to do something impetuous and young and stupid. Not dangerous, not regrettable. I am feeling sufficiently smothered creatively and professionally. I'm just restless, its spring I should know its coming, but that doesn't stop me from feeling that way.

Photography Adventure

I have the opportunity to shoot on location at one of the most beautiful places in the world. A month long trip, just to take pictures and expand my portfolio and work on my photographic style. I am not sure how I would pay for it. It would be a once in a lifetime experience. I dunno if I can get the time off from work, should I go? Tell me what you think.

My creativity is not wasted....

Tonight mom decided she wanted something springlike to hang on her front door. I knew what was going to happen. So instead of wasting time and her money I picked everything out and arranged a nice floral basket arrangement for her to hang on the door. I think they should take that off my rent. You'd probably pay about 50 bucks for it at the store for something like that, take the 40 bucks profit for my labor--you can keep it and apply it to my rent.
 

bath time 

at the grocery store 

homesick for mom's pie 

missing home 

pirates of the fireplace? 

mini kev and his chic 

mini shane and his chic 

the post office 

the turner fridge 

you dont wanna know 

at the bank 

at blockbuster