Colouring within the Lines

There are times when the trail is necessary when the lines help us to know where we are and what we are doing, and I am not suggesting disregarding authority or tearing down structure and what’s right and wrong for the sake of doing things my own way.
But sometimes we get stuck in the mentality of lines; we lose what it feels like to be creative and adventurous.  We get into the habit where things are done for us. Lines are drawn, trails are mapped out and roads are marked, do we ever question who put up these boundaries, was it for our benefit is it really for our good?
I am merely suggesting that we get dirty once in a while or wet or cold or just plain uncomfortable to go beyond our field of experience/knowledge to discover something better and more grand than we could imagine.  

I smell

I smell like a French fry, no, no, no, French fries do not have the ability to smell, I know French fries don’t have noses and yes I can smell ...the aroma that French fries give off is the same aroma I am giving off, which is great if you are hungry for French fries but no so great if you are not a French fry.  Or is it freedom fry, or better yet sweet potato fries or garlic fries—those make you smell real good, no not smell like that…grrrrr….there is no winning this argument with you.

Progress/Regress Report

Progress/Regress ReportI set some goals for myself so that my mind would not go to waste.I was going to read a book every week, I was going to try something new or do something that scares me everyday, I was going to take pictures everyday and continue to grow and work on these things.  I wanted to write more, but not just about what’s going on but important things, deep meaningful though provoking things.  I was also going to continue not to watch TV.  
This is my progress report.  I haven’t read a book a week since august when I got stuck on Jane Austen’s Emma.  In regard to writing about nothing, I would have to say Jane Austen leaves nothing to the imagination; every detail is described to the point of needing no imagination.  Which I think leaves no room for the story to transcend time periods and people can’t place themselves in the story because they aren’t imagining themselves in that atmosphere.  So I got so frustrated with the book after the 6th chapter or so I couldn’t continue, and I had 4 more books I had checked out from the library which I tried to read, but it was lost.  So I ended up turning the books in late and I still owe money on them.  As far as trying something new, or scary, it just hasn’t happened.  I quit my job and now I am working 2 others, that’s pretty scary, I guess there is just so much uncertainty about where I am going to live and work that there is no brainpower left to try something new.  I guess you can count my meal of Spam and Chai as something new, rather a new combination, or even something scary judging by the reactions of those around me.  I am using a new camera, at first that was scary and new.  So I guess I am not doing too bad in this category, I guess I just wanted it to be more intentional, like a fear factor kind of thing, but I am not easily scared, and maybe everyday is too frequent and needs to be adjusted.  
Most days I take pictures, either at work or with my own camera, I am still wanting the new camera, and I think even if I don’t take pictures everyday I make up for it on special occasions, I just noticed a lack of everyday pictures which makeup most of my gallery.  I guess if I wanted to I could blame it on the weather, and my tiredness, but I still need to take more pictures.  I just haven’t felt inspired lately and I think people aren’t used to me taking pictures of them because I don’t have my camera out enough.  I have to admit occasionally I feel very silly for taking pictures for no specific reason.  But I need to get over this, I guess I am just tired of the comments and stares of people thinking I am crazy, maybe I am but who are you to judge?  And I guess I have been working on my photography, I printed off some model releases last night and a photo log to keep track of the information and details of some pictures, that’s a step in the right direction.
I was going to start writing more, thought provoking things, involving all kinds of irony and plays on words, satirical.  I love that kind of stuff.  I had many people comment on the blog about hair dye, it actually sounded like a disgruntled ex –girlfriend speaking of the many ills of her former beau. (See September 12, 2005 blog)  Its still one of my favorites.  I want to write more like that.  Sometimes I feel I need an audience though.  I just don’t think anyone cares anymore.  Maybe they don’t but my writing shouldn’t be dependant on them.  I guess I am insecure that way.  A general lack of creativity doesn’t help either.  I dunno if it’s from the restless sleep, the crazy scramble of life working 2 jobs and trying to juggle all of this life, which really isn’t so bad, but it’s enough to make me tired, yet I still have the creative drive, but I’d rather sleep.  My friends help with my creativity and lately I just haven’t spent enough time with them.  It’s hard when everyone is so far away, either geographically or mentally.  I maybe just need more friends.
I can also blame the TV, I stopped watching it mostly.  I got used to not having it, but it has become a social thing now.  When I go to see someone we watch TV, which is ok but I want to do something more creative that uses our creativity but it goes back to the whole tired uncreative ness issue—why I'm not writing and taking pictures more—It’s a lot of energy to be creative and what’s the point of using all that energy when people are content to just watch TV.  And I think TV just adds to the uncreative ness, it’s like a sick cycle.  It reminds me of a C.S. Lewis quote I came across this week that I think I will share.  
“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.  We are far too easily pleased.”  
Although I believe Lewis was speaking of much more spiritual matters than these.  I believe there is a direct connection with the spiritual settling for less and that same settling in our everyday lives.  Could it be that I am experiencing this drought because I have forgotten the one who wants to give us life to the full.  Have I settled for these things instead of focusing on the creator of these things?  It does pose an interesting question.