Cross-Country Skiing and Crawdads
There are a few things in life, that have me beat. Among these are Cross-country skiing, catching crawdads and, breaking out of the alliteration, MEN.
The crawdads I remember as a kid, to this day I still haven't caught a live one. This may seem silly, but to my childhood mind catching one was the ultimate "it." I think it might have been in the approach, they swim backwards you see, and I didn't have the timing thing down.
In college, I decided to try cross-country skiing. A semester later and many bruises and near death experiences and a very cold Becka, I don't think its really for me. Something about the coordination, of my feet and arms in the right place and everything working together. I could never get forward motion.
Now, I have men problems. Not necessarily men but relationships with them. I don't know if I miss the clues, or read things the wrong way or maybe I am just generally unattractive. But it doesn't work out for me. It feels like it is, then POOF! We are just friends. Maybe its a little of the above problems, a little bit of bad timing, and maybe a little of not being in the right place and everything working together how I think it should.
So I guess for now, I will have no stuffed crawdads on my wall, no skiing in my future and no males other than my friends and my dogs. The timing isn't right, then men aren't cooperating--they keep swimming backwards in the relationship stream. Meanwhile the relationship is getting cold and not really moving forward, and we both end up hurt. Sounds like my old foes coming back, ironic. I love irony.
Maybe those crawdads and hours of cross country skiing class taught me patience and perseverance, after falling on the same hill 200 times in one day while cross country skiing, I wanted to conquer it. It didn't happen that day, but on the last day of my winter camping trip, we were lost and tired, and I made the hill down and back up the other side, it was a small victory. To quote a phrase from one of my favorite movies "baby steps" that's what its all about, maybe not all, but in order to take those small steps we have to have faith in our very BIG GOD.
So as I learn these lessons, maybe one day the timing will all come together and everything will work right and I will understand and be understood. Until then I pray for contentment, not in failure, but in the victory that I have in the blood of Christ, and that this will point me to the paradox of my faith that I must be content but yet never satisfied, I must die to live, and I must be humble to be exalted. Never coming to the point where I think I've had enough of God. But rather coming to where I put God first, and submit totally to his will, where I can say, there is nothing I desire but God.
The crawdads I remember as a kid, to this day I still haven't caught a live one. This may seem silly, but to my childhood mind catching one was the ultimate "it." I think it might have been in the approach, they swim backwards you see, and I didn't have the timing thing down.
In college, I decided to try cross-country skiing. A semester later and many bruises and near death experiences and a very cold Becka, I don't think its really for me. Something about the coordination, of my feet and arms in the right place and everything working together. I could never get forward motion.
Now, I have men problems. Not necessarily men but relationships with them. I don't know if I miss the clues, or read things the wrong way or maybe I am just generally unattractive. But it doesn't work out for me. It feels like it is, then POOF! We are just friends. Maybe its a little of the above problems, a little bit of bad timing, and maybe a little of not being in the right place and everything working together how I think it should.
So I guess for now, I will have no stuffed crawdads on my wall, no skiing in my future and no males other than my friends and my dogs. The timing isn't right, then men aren't cooperating--they keep swimming backwards in the relationship stream. Meanwhile the relationship is getting cold and not really moving forward, and we both end up hurt. Sounds like my old foes coming back, ironic. I love irony.
Maybe those crawdads and hours of cross country skiing class taught me patience and perseverance, after falling on the same hill 200 times in one day while cross country skiing, I wanted to conquer it. It didn't happen that day, but on the last day of my winter camping trip, we were lost and tired, and I made the hill down and back up the other side, it was a small victory. To quote a phrase from one of my favorite movies "baby steps" that's what its all about, maybe not all, but in order to take those small steps we have to have faith in our very BIG GOD.
So as I learn these lessons, maybe one day the timing will all come together and everything will work right and I will understand and be understood. Until then I pray for contentment, not in failure, but in the victory that I have in the blood of Christ, and that this will point me to the paradox of my faith that I must be content but yet never satisfied, I must die to live, and I must be humble to be exalted. Never coming to the point where I think I've had enough of God. But rather coming to where I put God first, and submit totally to his will, where I can say, there is nothing I desire but God.
posted by becka at 9:43 PM
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