three weeks
I’ve gotten to know God a lot more in the last three weeks. About a month ago my friends mom came down to live with him, her first week down here she fell and broke her leg in 2 places. That was her welcome here. Those situations would be difficult for anyone, but especially for her; developmentally she’s lost somewhere along the way.
So the first week she was out of the hospital she was moved to a nursing care facility. I went to visit her the first week she was there-- In an attempt to somehow show the love of Christ. I wasn’t sure what to think at first and sometimes even now I am not really sure what to make of it. I can’t say that I immediately felt any love for her, I didn’t really know how to navigate such a situation, but I know that I should do it. The second visit came easier. Although I was worried it would be strangers staring at each other in awkward silence. I didn’t want to be there for the wrong reasons and I spent a lot of time praying that my motives would be correct. I didn’t want to go just to look good, or gain the respect of people, or because of a sense of duty, or even to gain more respect from my friend for doing this for his mom. I wanted it to be because I was bringing glory to God by showing love to someone that I didn’t even know. It wasn’t that they weren’t unlovable, I just didn’t know them. I knew as long as I remained distant I would also remain apathetic.
The second visit was better, not only was she in less pain but she was out and moving around a bit, so there were things to talk about, she shares similar tastes in music as I do, and music is always common ground for me with just about anyone. But something happened on the second visit, I got to see her interaction with other people, I saw a kind and generous spirit of a woman that I can only equate to an animal probably because there are very few humans that embody this—that is to say like a dog that you kick will still come back and lick your face and wag its tail. That was my first lesson--the lesson of truly loving your neighbor as yourself.
During that visit I was also privy to an intimate exchange between a mother and her son. She admitted there were nights when she would sit on his bed while he was sleeping and wish he was dead, the story started off as a “when you were young…” type of story so we thought that it was going to be a really good juicy embarrassing story about him. But it changed very quickly to a solemn time. She felt over 20 years of guilt from wishing her son was dead, the son who is her lifeline and her strength right now. Usually a conversation killer, but instead, someone suggested forgiveness. She leaned over to her son with his face in her hands and asked for forgiveness, with tears in her eyes. That’s probably a lot of information all in one day, to know that instead of a cute embarrassing story about your childhood that instead your mom wished you were dead, but in grace and great wisdom, I witnessed Gods power of reconciliation, as a mother and son held each other, both realizing the weight the fallen world puts on us, and rejoicing in the fact that the past is the past and there is forgiveness and healing.
Today was a special visit, because today was her birthday, I decided that I don’t have much to bring but I do have the ability to make stuff, so I made cupcakes, easy to make eat and share. I was amazed by how many people she knew, the people around her that she would give the world to if she could. There was a bit of the awkward silence today, but I don’t mind it as much as I used to. I stayed and hung out with her for several hours, people gravitate towards her room, she has a way of putting people at ease and making people laugh, some have to ability to raise their selves up and “rise above” everyone else, she has a way of raising others up, a gentle humbleness that I really can’t explain. When I went to leave she gave me a hug and told me she loved me, something I wasn’t really expecting at all, which was by the way my third lesson about God and his love. His love always comes first. We only love him because he loved us, and I hope in a sense that she loves me because she loves God in me, after all it is his love, not my own that I give.
The past few weeks I have seen a practical application of the things I have spent most of my lifetime studying—the hard to grasp concepts of God’s love and forgiveness. I went in thinking I was going to show the love of Christ to someone, and what happened was they ended up showing me.
So the first week she was out of the hospital she was moved to a nursing care facility. I went to visit her the first week she was there-- In an attempt to somehow show the love of Christ. I wasn’t sure what to think at first and sometimes even now I am not really sure what to make of it. I can’t say that I immediately felt any love for her, I didn’t really know how to navigate such a situation, but I know that I should do it. The second visit came easier. Although I was worried it would be strangers staring at each other in awkward silence. I didn’t want to be there for the wrong reasons and I spent a lot of time praying that my motives would be correct. I didn’t want to go just to look good, or gain the respect of people, or because of a sense of duty, or even to gain more respect from my friend for doing this for his mom. I wanted it to be because I was bringing glory to God by showing love to someone that I didn’t even know. It wasn’t that they weren’t unlovable, I just didn’t know them. I knew as long as I remained distant I would also remain apathetic.
The second visit was better, not only was she in less pain but she was out and moving around a bit, so there were things to talk about, she shares similar tastes in music as I do, and music is always common ground for me with just about anyone. But something happened on the second visit, I got to see her interaction with other people, I saw a kind and generous spirit of a woman that I can only equate to an animal probably because there are very few humans that embody this—that is to say like a dog that you kick will still come back and lick your face and wag its tail. That was my first lesson--the lesson of truly loving your neighbor as yourself.
During that visit I was also privy to an intimate exchange between a mother and her son. She admitted there were nights when she would sit on his bed while he was sleeping and wish he was dead, the story started off as a “when you were young…” type of story so we thought that it was going to be a really good juicy embarrassing story about him. But it changed very quickly to a solemn time. She felt over 20 years of guilt from wishing her son was dead, the son who is her lifeline and her strength right now. Usually a conversation killer, but instead, someone suggested forgiveness. She leaned over to her son with his face in her hands and asked for forgiveness, with tears in her eyes. That’s probably a lot of information all in one day, to know that instead of a cute embarrassing story about your childhood that instead your mom wished you were dead, but in grace and great wisdom, I witnessed Gods power of reconciliation, as a mother and son held each other, both realizing the weight the fallen world puts on us, and rejoicing in the fact that the past is the past and there is forgiveness and healing.
Today was a special visit, because today was her birthday, I decided that I don’t have much to bring but I do have the ability to make stuff, so I made cupcakes, easy to make eat and share. I was amazed by how many people she knew, the people around her that she would give the world to if she could. There was a bit of the awkward silence today, but I don’t mind it as much as I used to. I stayed and hung out with her for several hours, people gravitate towards her room, she has a way of putting people at ease and making people laugh, some have to ability to raise their selves up and “rise above” everyone else, she has a way of raising others up, a gentle humbleness that I really can’t explain. When I went to leave she gave me a hug and told me she loved me, something I wasn’t really expecting at all, which was by the way my third lesson about God and his love. His love always comes first. We only love him because he loved us, and I hope in a sense that she loves me because she loves God in me, after all it is his love, not my own that I give.
The past few weeks I have seen a practical application of the things I have spent most of my lifetime studying—the hard to grasp concepts of God’s love and forgiveness. I went in thinking I was going to show the love of Christ to someone, and what happened was they ended up showing me.
posted by becka at 12:36 AM
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